De la teatru la o varianta mai buna a mea
Ce să fac acum…. Sunetul ploii (fără să mă gândesc la acesta în cuvinte, dar auzindu-l cu claritate) … Mesaj pe telefon …. Alertă să beau apă… Câte pahare am băut azi?? … covorul e verde … ahhh, azi …. hiiiii, mi-am uitat acasă …. mi-e foame … melodia de la radio de ieri …. (cum reproduci in cuvinte un oftat?)… Stai aș putea? Vreau… Stai dreaptă (bilețelul pe care îl țin în colțul ecranului)… o să alerg azi… aș merge în parc…
Monolog interior verbalizat. Uite un exercițiu pe care l-am învățat la un curs de teatru în urmă cu vreo doi ani. Mi-a fost atât de greu să-l realizez cum trebuie, încât se pare că mi-a rămas în memoria acțiunilor, altfel zis… genul acela de obicei pentru care nu depun un efort aparte, însă la care revin din când în când.
Sincer, nu-mi mai aduc aminte care era descrierea și nici măcar scopul acestui exercițiu.. din perspectiva unui actor vorbind. Ce pot să îți împărtășesc este ce a devenit pentru mine și ce scop îi atribui eu.
30 de secunde pe ceas, în fața oglinzii nu îți trebuie mai mult. La fel de bine funcționează ori de câte ori ai nevoie să vorbești puțin, tu cu tine.
Cum procedez eu, tac și deschid bine urechile ca să mă asigur că volumul din interior e auzibil. Asta pentru că foarte multe conversații se ivesc în „liniștea” minții noastre. Alaiul este într-atât de mare încât ai impresia că de cele mai multe ori e liniște. Atât de acaparată poate fi mintea.
Regula exercițiului este să verbalizezi absolut tot ce îți trece prin minte în cele câteva clipe propuse spre expunere (în cazul meu câteva secunde). Șiretenia constă în faptul că nu ai voie să așezi gândurile într-un fir logic, nu faci dialog, ci doar surprinzi ideile în instantanee.
Verbalizarea se face fără oprire, căci în secunda în care te-ai oprit ai început să preiei controlul unei logici. De fapt, eu mă văd ca un fotograf începător care ține încontinuu apăsat pe butonul de fotografiere, fără să se complice cu încadrări, setări de lumină și alte cele.
Pe mine mă ajută să mă deconcentrez de la vălmășeala cotidiană. Uneori am impresia că mintea mea acționează ca atunci când devii conștient că ești fotografiat și începi să fii extra atent la postură. Devin mai conștientă de mine însămi, și acesta cred că este unul din obiectivele care nu se mai notează pe nici o listă.
Scopul meu e să mă susțin în realizarea a toate câte mi-am propus. Și atunci, îmi educ ideile să se comporte ca un fotomodel talentat. Unul care se identifică în munca sa, în trăirile și idealurile pe care le transmite. Unul care știe să zâmbească natural… și asta se recunoaște ușor!
**Photo Credit ARTP si Harli Marten
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